Motivation and Discipline

So as I'm sure most of you have noticed I have been feeling very sorry for myself for a very long time now. I have been pouting, and whining, and just over all had a terrible attitude. I have been convicted.

Over the last several weeks I have decided that I do not like working nights and I have decided to let it get the best of me. I am having a terrible time sleeping days and then living life when I get up. I'm fine when I first wake up, and I'm fine once I've been at work for an hour or so, but the time in between has been HORRIBLE. I have not been cooking supper, doing "chores", spending time with my family, helping with homework, etc. I have been feeding my family fast food and hitting the couch and sleeping till it's time to head to work. I get up long enough to kiss the kids goodnight and then off I go. I have been living for my days off, and then not understanding why nobody wants to do anything fun. Hmmmm, could it be that they have been awake all week living while I've been sleeping it away?

My first clue to this miserable existence is when I went to look at my clock by my bed and I couldn't see it because of the cups, water bottles, advil bottle, and other various items camped out on my nightstand. I've been living in my bed! My next clue was the bigger than usual laundry pile. I actually caught DQ getting a pair of pj pants out of the laundry pile the other day because she doesn't have any clean one's to wear. Finally, tonight at supper BB mentioned it out right to me. Mom, you cooked tonight and that's awesome, but are you gonna go back to bed aftr dinner? I don't feel well and I'd like to snuggle. OUCH!!!


I'm not completely blind, I know I've been awful to live with. I know I have not been the mommy and wife my family is used to. I know that I've been wallowing in my circumstances instead of rising to meet the challenge. I know I'm stronger than this. I know I should just be grateful I have a job. I know just need to suck it up and get on with my life. I know that God has bigger plans than this for me.

So now I seek your prayers. I seek your wisdom. I seek your encouragement. I need motivation, and discipline.

Amy