Tears

So I thought this week was going to be a fairly easy week for me. I worked 2 nights, then had Wed off ,then 2 days of education. Also, we have a jammed packed weekend of fun planned. Cool, easy peezy! WRONG!

Yesterday at education day they came in and asked us if we would stay and work for 4 hrs for time and a half, + 5, plus shift differential. That totals up to around $50/hr. Hmmmm, let me think..... OF COURSE!!!! Well, lesson learned. If they are offering up that kind of money then things are not going so good.

The hospital I work at happens to be the biggest labor and delivery unit in the nation. We deliver somewhere in the neighborhood of 17,000 babies a year. Our hospital is nicknamed the baby factory; rightfully so! Also, we have a very large and advanced NICU, so we see patients from all over GA with some pretty unique and sometimes tragic situations. Sadly when these patients come to us it's bad and it can be so heart breaking.

My job is a good one. I mean I get to spend 8 hrs with a couple having a baby. I get to be part of their special time. I get to deliver babies! How cool! However, there are other aspects to my job that most people don't consider. Not every pregnancy is a good one. These women get sick. Their babies get sick. They need surgery. They need specialized care. They need a kind and understanding nurse. In the last 7 days I have had to tell 2 mommies that their baby is too young, they will not survive this. I had to tell a mommy that if her body continues doing what it is doing we are going to have to deliver her twins at 27 weeks. I had to tell a dad that his wife has to have emergency surgery if his wife is going to survive; oh and I'm sorry but your baby did not survive.

Ugh, weeks like this really make me doubt my calling. I know I'm where I'm supposed to be. I know God has a plan. I know that these precious babies are with Jesus. They are healthy, they are warm, they are loved. I KNOW this. What I also know is that I have learned how to tell a family that their baby has died. I have learned to take pictures of a 20 week baby and try to make her look pretty. I have learned to hug perfect strangers and cry with them. I know where the morgue is. I know how to report a death and how to show a doctor where to sign a death certificate. I know what it's like to watch a baby die in your hands. This is not knowledge I ever aspired to have. I know that if it weren't for my King, my husband, my beautiful children, and my wonderful friends that I would not be able to live with having this knowledge.

Please hug your children today. Please treasure them. Please understand that your nurse is a human and this hurts her too. Please understand that when tragedy comes your way that there is a nurse who is praying for you, and loving you. There is someone out there who you don't know that will touch you in a way you may never know.

Amy