Why????

Here I am, graduated from nursing school, awaiting my turn to take boards, and guess what? I can't find a job! Apparently budget cutbacks and being last to graduate in the state has caused a few problems. I understand but I don't understand. I know I'm going to get a job, and I know I'll get the one I'm meant to get, but I just don't quite understand what God is trying to do in my life right now. I'm having a very hard time understanding why He would let me go as far as He did and now the door is closed. It's looking like October before I start to work. Why?????

I know I should enjoy this time with BB and DQ. I know that this is an opportunity to get some things done. I know that I need to have surgery. I know that there a few other opportunities that I can pursue until then, but I still don't understand. Is that confusing? Sorry, I'm just so very down and upset at this point. I'm disappointed. I'm frustrated. I'm bored. I feel like my dream is just out of reach, I can touch it, I can see it, but I can't quite grab hold of it.

My mom keeps telling me, don't worry, your job just isn't available yet; God has the perfect job for you. Hubby keeps telling me to be persistent. God keeps telling me to be still and wait....
"Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock
and my salvation, my fortress
where I will not be shaken."
Psalm 62:5-6 (NLT)
This I know, but my ever present struggle with impatience, and lack of trust are wrestling me down. I also feel like a bit of a failure at this point. Most of my classmates have jobs, not all of them, but most of them. Did I wait too long to apply? Am I doing something wrong in the application process? Is there something wrong with my resume?

I do have an interview in July. The position won't begin till October. I'm terrified though. What if they don't want me? Then what????

Anyway, I seek your prayers as I struggle through this storm. I know this will happen in His time, I'm just afraid.
Seeking His Guidance,
Amy

Sadly, It's True

Well, the phrase I said I'd never use got used, and it's 100% true. As you know we've been having some trouble with DQ and BB fighting. In fact, yesterday they spent just about their whole day alone in their rooms. Being the naive mom that I am I figured that would have taught them a lesson. NOPE!!! This morning started out ok, a little rocky but not too bad. I did however warn them with a very stiff punishment. A few tiffs later the warning was repeated as I really did not want to enforce the punishment I had laid out. Finally at Wal-Mart of all places the big fight happened. I mean BIG!! If I could have pulled up the floor and crawled in I might have done just that. Instead I found myself with red cheeks and probably steam coming out of my ears saying what I never thought I'd say.....
"That's it! We are not going to the beach for the weekend, we are staying home, and you are sitting in your rooms alone for the whole entire weekend. And believe me when I say this is hurting me more than it is hurting you and that's not fair!!!"
This really is hurting me, I wanted to go to the beach. Now I'm sitting here pouting about having to be a responsible parent and "stick to my guns" as hubby puts it. Well guess what? I don't wanna!! I wanna go to the beach!!
I think I'll go pout for awhile now,
Amy

Do You Ever....

Ahhhh, these were some wonderful, peaceful times!!!!!

Do you ever wonder if it's physically possible to close your ears? I mean do you ever wish when you closed your eyes and prayed, that the pounding, blaring, head crushing noise to go away???? Well I do!!!!!

We have been having a few challenges this summer with fighting among the beloved children. No, I take that back, we have been beating our heads up against a brick wall trying to put a stop to World War 3 among the beloved little buggers!!!!!!!!! I mean they are fighting over EVERYTHING!! Finally after I was completely embarrassed this morning I just couldn't take it any more. I was on the phone with a nurse recruiter and I literally had to step out of the house so that she would not hear BB and DQ SCREAMING at each other in the background. To make things worse, DQ followed me screaming and crying!!!! Keep in mind that these are not 3 and 4 year olds we are talking about, this is a 10 year old and almost 9 year old!

Here's the thing though.... I have been feeling a bit convicted over the last few months because I know that I tend to be a yeller. I've noticed that DQ can get quite loud at times (well, ok, all the time), and I just keep getting on to her. I've been trying to teach her to put her hand over her mouth when she feels she is getting out of control. This has not been working so well. I have given her scripture after scripture and this has not been working so well. I have been praying with her and for her obviously, but you must be willing to admit sin to repent of sin! Well, then yesterday I was reading up on all my blogs and my friend Jodi reminded me that is is my job to teach DQ by my actions. Ouch, hard lesson huh?

Anyway, I was so frustrated and horrified from the phone call incident that I decided that today was a great day for everyone to do a floor to ceiling cleaning of their own rooms. After they were finished with that they were free to pursue any in your own room activity of your choosing. Surprisingly, this has gone pretty well: so far.......

Praying for peace,
Amy

Hilarious

They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includ es meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For t hose of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
"Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evenin g service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
- - -------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person y ou want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and co me prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if t he ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare 's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet a t 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.



The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday : "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".



Hope ya got a giggle!!!!
Amy

Today

Today is a good day! I got to eat at the yummiest place on earth last night (Stoney River), we sold our extra car, we get to spend the day in the pool, I may get to drive my parent's convertible mustang into Atlanta, and..... I'm getting PINNED!! Back up, it's not what you think! It's a nursing school pin!

To Fab who has been up since some ungodly hour..... Hope you find your stupid runaway dog!!! LOL ( I don't really think the dog is stupid, he's just being stupid at the moment)

Please daddy, share your mustang with me today!!!
Amy

Sorry Guys

I thought this was funny! I needed a good laugh, hope you got one too!!!!

Amy

A Different Kind......

Don't get me wrong, I'm not naive enough to know that now that school is over that everything will just magically be ok. I know that things will always go wrong, that there will always be some kind of hurdle to overcome. I even know that my hurdles are small compared to other hurdles some people are facing. No more worrying about exams (except boards), care plans, and clinicals. No more looming deadlines that are the end of the world as I know it. But life does go on and this is just a different sort of hurdle.

However, I'm pouting right now!! I just feel like the last few days I have been under attack! Our internet was mistakenly turned off on Saturday morning and just now turned back on, we got a very large unexpected bill in the mail, hubby is on a 60day stretch at work without a day off, I got a great job offer that I don't know if I can take, yada yada yada.... Oh me.... Booo Hoooo:(

As I've been stewing in my own self pity I read a blog of a friend from church. She has been battling cancer for a few months and she is so Godly! She has been positive and upbeat this whole time, no matter what is thrown at her. She gave me this scripture to hold on to "And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 She reminded me that I am trying to wade through these waters on my own and not asking God for help. I know that I cannot do anything on my own, but as usual I find myself bargaining, and brainstorming, and pouting my way along the bumps instead of hitting my knees and trusting Jesus to work this all out.

I'm very tired right now, very discouraged. I know this is not a very cheerful message to you all, but I started this blog to be real and it is important for you to know that I am real, that I'm struggling and frustrated. I ask for you to pray for me please.

Hoping to come back with a better spirit soon!!
Amy

Feeling Gratitude

my beautiful mom
my beautiful hubby, BB, and DQ

Tonight I graduate from college. I can't believe it! For those who know me, this has been a long time coming huh? I have been waiting so long for this day and here it is!! I know I still have my pinning, but this is my graduation!!

I just want to thank so many people and I don't even know where to start! This has been a long road with many ups and downs. There were so many times when it got so hard I just didn't want to go on. There were times when I was just so tired and burned out I just was ready to quit. There were times when I was so discouraged that I didn't think I could do this. But thanks to Jesus, and the beautiful people above, and countless others who just kept pushing me on I made it. We made it!!!

Hubby, you have been a rock for me. Everytime I had an exam you would call me just before and remind me you were praying. You made me feel like I could take one more step, that you were with me! You reassured me all the time that you were here with me always, no matter what. No matter how cranky I got, how much I cried you were there. I know you must be so excited to actually have clean clothes in you drawers, dinner at night, a place to sit on the couch (my books were always in the way!!). I love you sooooo much, my very best friend!

BB, little man you have been so great. I know this as been so hard on you. You feel it all don't you my little man? You have been such an inspiration to me. You are so gifted and talented and you made me want to press on even when I was doubting myself (which was often!). You made me laugh when I just wanted to cry. You made it through this buddy!

DQ, my princess. You have been my little cheerleader all the way! Never once did you doubt me, you just accepted I was going to be a nurse and never looked back. I love you so much for that assurance. You, DQ are such a sweet girl with a big heart and your love was always felt!!

Mom, where do I start? I guess now, you are retired! You drove endless miles over the last few years, and never once did you make me feel like you didn't want to. At a moment's notice you would come when we needed you. I can't thank you enough. You and Dad sacrificed for me and I can't tell you how much it helped. I love you sooo much!

I know this post was mostly for those precious people above, but they deserve the recognition!!
Amy

Check This Out!!

I think this will be a great movie to go see. Facing the Giants was soooo good!
Amy

DQ

This blog is all about DQ, which she'll love. We fondly like to say it's her world and we live in it. Well let me tell you, we are definitly aliens on her little planet!

Today at church Pastor Ronnie was speaking to dads and daughters. He quiet adaptly described an every 5 minute reaction called the vacuum cleaner. You speak wrong, you breath wrong, you look wrong and all of a sudden you have the high pitched sucking sound followed by a high pitched roar of little girl screaming and crying. How did he know??? Is it in fact true that our little DQ is just being like every other little girl? I mean is this behavior actually normal? How about the fact that most days I want to be the one screaming? Poor hubby, because atleast I'm a girl! He really has no clue does he?

BB however has been rather swift in taking advantage of this teeter totter of emotions that best describe our little DQ princess. Just a few minutes ago he told her she belongs in special education. Oh what a sweet thing for him to say to her! This sent her to her room in hysterics because "He meant it mommy! He's so mean. He thinks he's so smart and good and cool and he's just not!!!!!" Oh my, what is 9,10, 11, 12, and dare I even say the teens going to bring???

I say all of this with great love for her. I do adore this little girl. She's my baby and she can be as dramatic as she wants! I just hope I don't lose my mind before it's her turn to raise her own little DQ!! A funny though, this morning I was brushing her beautiful green hair (blonde + chlorine = green), and asked if she wanted a braid or a pony tail. After stating her preference for a pony tail she asked this "Mommy, what does a cow hoof look like??" Too funny!

DQ, I love you princess, daddy loves you, and even BB loves you too!!
Amy

Party like It's 2008

Last night BB had a birthday party. The original theme was war games. The boys were going to play paintball out on the property, then hubby was going to camp out with them. Due to it being almost 100 degrees we decided to rethink things. We ended up swimming and playing flashlight tag once the sun went down. I think the party was a big success and DQ even gained a new admirer ( not so sure how good that is!!).

I tell you what, thank goodness we just have the one boy! They ate 5 pizza's, a couple dozen cookies, a whole birthday cake, 2 bags of Doritos, 2 bottles of coke, 1 and half bottles of sprite, 36 bottles of water, 16 cinnamon rolls, and 1/2 gallon of milk, and 1/2 container of OJ. Oh, and there was only 8 including BB. Also, they mixed the sprite and coke and named it SPOKE: The official soft drink of the Hworld party house!!!! That is a lotta junk people!!!!!

Anyway, BB had a great birthday, we are exhausted and HOT, and I think we are all going to go to bed early!!

G'night and God Bless!
Amy

Ding Ding Ding!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Hworld boxing ring. Our fighters tonight are quite a duo. In the red corner we have DQ Harrison. She's a charming little girl with bright blue eyes and blonde hair. She's sporting a glowing tan and a snaggle tooth so cute you could just put her in a box and keep her forever! In the blue corner we have BB Harrison. He's a handsome young man with freckles to die for and a shaggy mop of hair the girls just love! He's quite the intellectual who just may give DQ a run for her money! Who will win this battle? I don't know, but the referee Amy has really got her work cut out for her! In fact, she may step down and give the coveted (not) responsibility to Todd. Yup, sounds like a plan. Amy's headed to the beach! She's retired!!!!!

Sound like your home for the summer? And when does school start back up????????? Amy

Not Quite....

First of all..... Happy Birthday BB! I love you soooo much! Now stop growing up or else!

Well, we took a mini vacation to the beach and had a great time. However as stated above, it's not Disney World! We are a little sad right now because we were scheduled to leave tomorrow. Bummer!

I promise, promise, promise to add some pics from the beach. Hubby said he'd show me how to upload the pics from the camera. I hope it works though cause I'm having trouble getting anything to post on here. I'll try though!

I would like to ask you to please be in prayer as there is a large group of people from our church going to Honduras this weekend. Several people in the group are very dear to us. Some specific requests are: fear of flying, and fear of being so far from home. There are a couple of families leaving children behind, a couple of husbands leaving families behind, and there are several whole families going with chilren. This will definitly be a blessed trip for those going, but the people recieving this group will be even more blessed!

I have recieved some calls from various nurse recruiters and am looking at a couple of different prospects for work. I'm not sure which direction to take, we'll see! I think it'll be interesting to see where God puts me!

The next few days promise to be busy around here. BB and DQ have decided to finish up the week and vacation bible school. Also, the war games party is Friday night and we are getting several RSVP's. Next week I'm working 2 days, graduating, and I have a pre-op appointment. I'm debating about rescheduling surgery but I'm hurting and just can't decide!!! Any advice there?

Well, enough babbling for tonight!
Amy