Drama, Drama, Drama

So a couple of nights ago hubby came home doubled over in pain. He asked me to feel his belly button... " wow honey, it's a belly button".
"No, wait till I cough then try again"
So he coughs and I feel, OH MY did I feel. He had this bubbled out place that was really kind of gross to feel, and really quite painful for him to have me feel So we are thinking hernia, ok, doctor tomorrow.
Yesterday morning he's in so much pain, but being the typical stubborn man that he is, he goes to work, as do I.
I mentioned to situation to one of the docs on my unit (keep in mind I'm a labor and delivery nurse) and he recommends hubby go to the ER. I call hubby and of course I hear "I'm fine honey, just going to the doctor this afternoon". Ugh, REALLY?
So here I am, stressed out. Several of the nurses and I called hubby again asking him to please come here to the ER, but NO!
Evening rolls around and I am just finishing up with a delivery and hubby calls "Dr. M says it's pretty bad, need to have surgery, can you find me a surgeon?" Well, of course I can! As soon as I repeated the word surgery 2 docs were on the phone calling surgeons and fast tracking hubby through the system while I am on the phone with hubby explaining the importance of heading here NOW.
So here I sit in hubby's hospital room typing this blog while he enjoys his happy juice awaiting surgery. I think I'll rub it in a bit that my manly husband got admitted to the hospital by an Obstetrician!!!
Amy

Callie

Last Christmas we acquired a new puppy. Yes I know, we already had 2 dogs and now we are getting another? Are we nuts? Quite possibly.

Anyway, back to my story. We bought this cute little mutt (lab mix) for $30 from the Walmart parking lot. They say mutts make the best dogs, and my gosh she was being sold to whoever had $30. I could not let this sweet little puppy go to just anyone. So, DQ was the proud owner of a yellow lab mix puppy.

Oh did I forget to mention she's half Great Dane? How could I forget that little detail??????

So, 10 months later we still have Callie the "puppy". We got her weighing in at a respectable 8 pounds. She was precious, tiny, cute, sweet, and sleepy. WAS being the key word. Now she's loud, huge, wild, and HUGE weighing in at a "respectable" 70 pounds! It's common knowledge that Callie and I have a love hate relationship. She loves me and I love to hate her! She's really not a bad dog, just huge and young and rowdy.

Last night my mom and DQ took Callie for a walk at the local walking park. Of course I should have know better, but I felt Callie needed more exercise and DQ is her human after all. Callie took them for a walk. I should have know better, I do know better! So, in light of last night's events I have decided it's time to hunker down and get this "precious" dog, who is currently rolling around on my living room floor growling at her own feet, some leash training. I went to Pet Smart today and was told what is an appropriate restraint. Of course their first question is "what kind of dog is she?" After told "laberdane" next question.... "have you considered professional obedience classes?". Nice.

So I come home armed with my new no pull harness and a sturdy 4foot leash. Trying to place this little contraption on sweet, precious Callie is yet another fun part of my day. She was so busy chewing and biting and playing that I had to sit on her and my mom had to hold her mouth closed. SIGH! Anyway, we got it on, walked around the living room and low and behold it sorta worked. In the mean time, I thing hubby might be getting a work out this weekend!

What to Say?

I realize I have seriously neglected my blog. I realize that anyone out there has given up on me. It's been a rough go, and I realize that as well.
I have given my blog a minor face lift in honor of Georgia Football... GGGGGOOOOOO DDDDAAAWWWWGGGGSSSS! More changes are headed your way, please be patient.

So what's been going on? As you know my dad died in June after a short battle with cancer. I've posted about my anger and sadness. I have been so very angry. Not just at the fact that he died. Of course that makes me angry. I've been angry at the medical staff that was supposed to take care of him. I've been angry at the fact that he suffered needlessly and that he got blown off when he asked for help. What do I wish was different? I wish he was still here. I wish that I hadn't blown him off when he told me his shoulder hurt. I told him to exercise more. What a joke. I'm sorry dad. I have done a lot of healing over the summer though. I for the most part feel okay with life as it stands. There are days where it just hits me out of nowhere that he's gone. Those days I let myself cry and reminisce a little, then I move on.

This summer has been one of self rebuilding. I spent a lot of time bargaining with God. God, if you'll just fix this little problem then I'll listen to you. God, if you'll just make my mom feel better then I'll do all I can to make sure she stays happy. God, if you'll just make sure hubby's job stays stable I'll give you complete control of my finances. God, it you'll just help me get through to DQ then I'll make sure she gets to church every Wednesday night instead of just on Sundays. Know what? It didn't work. God want's me just the way I am so He can change me, grow me, heal me. My mom is His to heal. My finances are His to budget. DQ is His to guide. All things work to the glory of God. So what can I do? I can pray for DQ. I can pray with DQ. I can pray for my mom. I can let God handle hubby's job. I can trust Him in the storm and learn from life's problems.

I still don't understand why my dad died. I didn't tell him what I wanted to say. I had so much to say to him, but I let pride and fear keep me from saying it. Will I ever get the chance? I don't know. I honestly don't know where my dad is. Was he a Godly man? No. Did he believe? I'm not sure. I like the think somewhere, deep inside, under the anger and hurt that he did. I pray during those last few minutes he was here on this earth that Jesus reached out to him and whispered in his ear. "I am with you my child". I pray everyday that my dad is rejoicing in heaven, dancing in the streets of gold, praising the ONE TRUE GOD.

So this is my current place. A little sad, a little angry, a little doubt. I have seen so much happen this summer that brings tears to my eyes, but we've also laughed a lot too. I'm learning to find joy in the little things and to be thankful for all the I have. My mom is starting to heal. My family is awesome. I am loved. Those things are worthy of a smile, don't you think?