Sunday, May 30, 2010

Cancer

I don't know if this is a post I want to write. I am sad. I am angry. I am scared. I am frustrated. I don't know how to feel, what to think, what to do. CANCER.

My dad has cancer. That sucks. I just don't know how else to say it. My dad has LOTS of cancer and that REALLY sucks.

My dad is suffering and that sucks. My mom is suffering and that sucks too. In fact, I can't think of anything about any of this that doesn't suck!

Right now we are in hurry up and wait mode. We have so many questions, so many decisions to make, so many ideas. We are dealing with red tape, and doctors who don't care enough. We are in the south, and if you know anything about the south it's SSSSLLLLOOOOOWWWWWW. Nothing is getting done in a timely manner and that is so very frustrating! "Oh, well it's 3:00 on Friday, we can't do anything till next week!" WHAT????? "There is only one pain specialist in the area and he's out of town for a week." WHAT?????? "This isn't the Dakota's you know, if you want that then you should go there" WHAT?????

OK, fine then, we'll go there!
Amy

Friday, May 21, 2010

Hmmmm

After some ahem... gentle prodding from my mother I will blog today. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to blog, I just don't know how to put into words my world right now. Hworld is topsy turvy right now, so let me start. Warning, this blog will be a hodge podge of topics as my mind is reeling right now!!

Who out there has a dad? Most of you do I'm betting. Who out there has battled with cancer (either you or a loved one)? Again, most of you I'm betting. Cancer has always been a part of my life in one way another. Either I know someone who knows someone, or a distant relative, or a grandparent who died when I was much too young to know, I have experienced cancer. Well, my dad is now facing cancer. We don't have the "you have 6 months to live" quote yet, (nor will we be accepting that quote) but we have scans and more to come. We have pain medicine, and appointment after appointment. We have diet orders. We have insurance battles. And we've only just begun!! My dad is hurting, physically and emotionally. My dad is struggling spiritually. My dad needs Jesus and Jesus wants my dad. My knees are getting worn out, that's for sure!!!

Currently I am sitting in SC next to my "big" sister. She is on her computer, I am on mine, and my mom is on her's. What dorks are we??? What's even funnier is we were facebooking each other. Oh my what have we come to? It's amazing what REAL stress will do to you, and what little things can make you giggle. I think we needed the giggle!

On a lighter note... Callie the puppy has once again fallen from grace. Hubby came home from work today to find the hallway sopping and the sound of running water. He had put her in the bathroom to give her some reprieve from her crate. Well apparently in her sniffing and exploring she managed to turn on the water in the sink (she's almost my height on her hind legs). Well needless to say when hubby opened the bathroom door she had climbed into the tub to try to escape the pooling water on the floor. NICE!!

Life seems to be clipping along rather quickly. I can hardly believe that we are finishing up our last week ever at elementary school. I can't believe I have 2 middle schoolers now! It makes me so sad to see my babies growing up! BB is my height now and DQ is not far behind him. Oh and the attitude is catching up too!!!!! I think the girl 6th grader is going to be much harder to deal with than the boy 6th grader. BB is obnoxious, but the drama hasn't been too bad. Actually, BB is very open with us and it's been quite entertaining!! I pray DQ will be willing to open up to us like BB has. It makes me feel good to know that hubby and I have created a safe environment where they know they can tell us anything. They may not always get the response they wanted, and we may not always hear things we want to hear, but then I'd rather know than not know (I think)!

Hubby is working away. Poor thing some days there just aren't enough hours in the day and other days he's worried there won't be enough work! Right now he's in work nonstop mode. I think he does a fabulous job of juggling, but sometimes I feel like he works way too much. For example, he got to come home and sleep for 1/2 hour last night, and he has to work all day Saturday. It can be so frustrating! However, we will continue to be thankful even for the hard times. He has a job. We will be thankful.

The baby factory is turning in full force. We deliver on average 1500 to 2000 babies a month. That is a lot of babies people!! I love my job and am learning so much!! I am also very thankful, but will be even more so once that coveted day shift happens!

Well, if your mind is spinning I'm sorry, but updated is what you got!!

Amy

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