Worth Repeating

My mother was in a workshop the other day and they were asked to imagine a safe place. Well, she came up with a place but figured out all sorts of reasons why it wouldn't be safe; wild animals could get in etc. So then after thinking about more of the workshop she remembered they talked about putting things in bubbles. She told me tonight
" so in thinking about all the dangers in my safe place I decided to just put it in a bubble and now it's safe!"

Too funny mom!! I love you Cupcakes!!!!

Amy

A Fresh Word for a Hurting Heart

Psalm 3:1-3

O Lord how many are my foes! How many rise up against me!
Many are saying to me, "God will not deliver him"
But you are a shield around me, O Lord, you bestow glory on me and lift up my hand.


David felt like he was in the minority. There may have been as many as 10,000 soldiers surrounding him at this time. Not only did David's enemies view him differently, they actively sought to harm him. As king, David could have trusted his army to defeat Absalom, instead, he depended upon God's mercy; therefore, he was at peace whatever outcome occurred, knowing that God's great purposes would prevail. We can overcome fear by trusting God for protection in our darkest hour.

I have seen many dark hours over the last 4 months, and last night was truly dark for our family. We will have victory over the power of Satan. Satan is strong, BUT GOD is stronger!
Fear is not from God. Fear is terrible. It's awful to be fearful. It's oppressive. OVERCOMING is hard. I feel as though I'm walking in sand up a mountain. I'm tired, I'm discouraged, I have to work at every step I take. BUT GOD is a God of peace, and courage, and strength.

I keep saying I'm relying on God to get me and my family through this. Rubber meets the road. I have not been relying on God. Talk is cheap. I HAVE to rely on God and I will. I have tried this on my own, and guess what? I am failing miserably. BUT GOD doesn't fail at anything!

So here is my commitment to you. This is a big step for me, but I will be posting what God has shown me on this blog at least once a week. I need accountability. I need to rely on God. Right now there is only one set of footprints in the sand and for that one set I am thankful and will praise Him!

Amy

Finding the Silver Lining

Hmmmm, what to say. I have so many feelings running through my heart right now; it can be difficult to put it all into words.

I guess I'll start with this. My God is bigger, my God is stronger. This world is temporary and we are just passing through. I am clinging to that. I have seen so much pain and hurt over the last 4 months. I've personally been through things, and watched those I love go through things that humans just aren't equipped to handle. Thank you Lord that we have you to carry us when we just can't walk any further.

A couple of days ago my sweet husband left me a note on facebook and he'll never know how much of an impact it had on me.
He told me that sometimes there is only one set of footprints in the sand. How true that is hubby. I'm not going to go into details about what all has been happening, but you need to know that your prayers are needed and appreciated.

What am I getting from all that God has allowed to happen since last spring? I am learning to lean on Him. I am learning not to lean on my own understanding. I am learning that it's all going to be okay.

Children will be children. I'm learning that. They hurt you just as much as the world. I have good kids, I really do, but they are human and they will and do make mistakes. What I'm learning from that is that I can't always fix them. Sometimes, as bad as it hurts me as a mother, I have to let them fall. They have to learn that there are consequences to their actions; not just from us, but from life in general.

Family is family no matter what. You may not agree on things, you may get hurt by them, but they are your family and they are a gift from God. Anger and bitterness are tools to hurt you, not to help you. If you can't seem to agree, or see things together, then you just have to learn to get around it somehow.

Find what makes you happy and do it. Me? I love to have a clean, comfortable, pretty home. Can I afford to do what I want in my home, no. But what I can do is take care of what I have, and be creative with what I want. For example, as you know we bought a new home last year. I have always wanted a pretty front porch that when people come to my door they can hardly wait to get inside to see more. I have been eyeing these big brick red ceramic flower pots for some time now. The problem is they were $50 a pop. Well, the other day I just happened to be up at the hardware store and low and behold there were my pots on the clearance rack! $12 each!!! YAY! I bought 2, filled them with cheery fall flowers, and pretty wreath (my birthday present), and now I have a front porch I adore. That makes me happy. It's nothing fancy, but it reminds me there is hope, and something to look forward to.... like going inside to see what else might be waiting! In my home I have lots of 4 legged friends, 2 very vibrant children, a loving husband, and a sweet and wonderful mother. I have colorful cheery curtains, I have high ceilings, I have scents of cinnamon, vanilla, and new house. I have crystal and candles and red toned woods. I have pictures and plants and cozy blankets. This makes me happy. My refuge from the world.

The silver lining can be so hard to find. It can be hidden by the smog, so be sure to look a little harder when you find yourself surrounded by smog. The lining is there somewhere, you just have to look.
Amy

Pros and Cons

Life in the south. It has it's pros and cons. I'll give you my list.

Pros:
The football is so fun. Hot at first, but man these people love some football!
The food. Oh my goodness the food!
It's so easy to relax because everyone is relaxed!
The beach, need I say more?
The fall, ahhh it feels so good after 1000 degree summers!
It snows just enough for it to be fun.
Cheaper!
I can dress like a girl year round.
Fixin, ya'll, and yonder are accepted vocabulary.

Cons:
It's so stinking hot!
Although relaxed sometimes it's just a little to slow.
The food. Oh my goodness the food!
I miss the snow.
Rednecks with monster trucks driving by your house at 3am.
Can't see the stars at night, too many big city lights.
Kudzu and fire ants

Amy

Drama, Drama, Drama

So a couple of nights ago hubby came home doubled over in pain. He asked me to feel his belly button... " wow honey, it's a belly button".
"No, wait till I cough then try again"
So he coughs and I feel, OH MY did I feel. He had this bubbled out place that was really kind of gross to feel, and really quite painful for him to have me feel So we are thinking hernia, ok, doctor tomorrow.
Yesterday morning he's in so much pain, but being the typical stubborn man that he is, he goes to work, as do I.
I mentioned to situation to one of the docs on my unit (keep in mind I'm a labor and delivery nurse) and he recommends hubby go to the ER. I call hubby and of course I hear "I'm fine honey, just going to the doctor this afternoon". Ugh, REALLY?
So here I am, stressed out. Several of the nurses and I called hubby again asking him to please come here to the ER, but NO!
Evening rolls around and I am just finishing up with a delivery and hubby calls "Dr. M says it's pretty bad, need to have surgery, can you find me a surgeon?" Well, of course I can! As soon as I repeated the word surgery 2 docs were on the phone calling surgeons and fast tracking hubby through the system while I am on the phone with hubby explaining the importance of heading here NOW.
So here I sit in hubby's hospital room typing this blog while he enjoys his happy juice awaiting surgery. I think I'll rub it in a bit that my manly husband got admitted to the hospital by an Obstetrician!!!
Amy

Callie

Last Christmas we acquired a new puppy. Yes I know, we already had 2 dogs and now we are getting another? Are we nuts? Quite possibly.

Anyway, back to my story. We bought this cute little mutt (lab mix) for $30 from the Walmart parking lot. They say mutts make the best dogs, and my gosh she was being sold to whoever had $30. I could not let this sweet little puppy go to just anyone. So, DQ was the proud owner of a yellow lab mix puppy.

Oh did I forget to mention she's half Great Dane? How could I forget that little detail??????

So, 10 months later we still have Callie the "puppy". We got her weighing in at a respectable 8 pounds. She was precious, tiny, cute, sweet, and sleepy. WAS being the key word. Now she's loud, huge, wild, and HUGE weighing in at a "respectable" 70 pounds! It's common knowledge that Callie and I have a love hate relationship. She loves me and I love to hate her! She's really not a bad dog, just huge and young and rowdy.

Last night my mom and DQ took Callie for a walk at the local walking park. Of course I should have know better, but I felt Callie needed more exercise and DQ is her human after all. Callie took them for a walk. I should have know better, I do know better! So, in light of last night's events I have decided it's time to hunker down and get this "precious" dog, who is currently rolling around on my living room floor growling at her own feet, some leash training. I went to Pet Smart today and was told what is an appropriate restraint. Of course their first question is "what kind of dog is she?" After told "laberdane" next question.... "have you considered professional obedience classes?". Nice.

So I come home armed with my new no pull harness and a sturdy 4foot leash. Trying to place this little contraption on sweet, precious Callie is yet another fun part of my day. She was so busy chewing and biting and playing that I had to sit on her and my mom had to hold her mouth closed. SIGH! Anyway, we got it on, walked around the living room and low and behold it sorta worked. In the mean time, I thing hubby might be getting a work out this weekend!

What to Say?

I realize I have seriously neglected my blog. I realize that anyone out there has given up on me. It's been a rough go, and I realize that as well.
I have given my blog a minor face lift in honor of Georgia Football... GGGGGOOOOOO DDDDAAAWWWWGGGGSSSS! More changes are headed your way, please be patient.

So what's been going on? As you know my dad died in June after a short battle with cancer. I've posted about my anger and sadness. I have been so very angry. Not just at the fact that he died. Of course that makes me angry. I've been angry at the medical staff that was supposed to take care of him. I've been angry at the fact that he suffered needlessly and that he got blown off when he asked for help. What do I wish was different? I wish he was still here. I wish that I hadn't blown him off when he told me his shoulder hurt. I told him to exercise more. What a joke. I'm sorry dad. I have done a lot of healing over the summer though. I for the most part feel okay with life as it stands. There are days where it just hits me out of nowhere that he's gone. Those days I let myself cry and reminisce a little, then I move on.

This summer has been one of self rebuilding. I spent a lot of time bargaining with God. God, if you'll just fix this little problem then I'll listen to you. God, if you'll just make my mom feel better then I'll do all I can to make sure she stays happy. God, if you'll just make sure hubby's job stays stable I'll give you complete control of my finances. God, it you'll just help me get through to DQ then I'll make sure she gets to church every Wednesday night instead of just on Sundays. Know what? It didn't work. God want's me just the way I am so He can change me, grow me, heal me. My mom is His to heal. My finances are His to budget. DQ is His to guide. All things work to the glory of God. So what can I do? I can pray for DQ. I can pray with DQ. I can pray for my mom. I can let God handle hubby's job. I can trust Him in the storm and learn from life's problems.

I still don't understand why my dad died. I didn't tell him what I wanted to say. I had so much to say to him, but I let pride and fear keep me from saying it. Will I ever get the chance? I don't know. I honestly don't know where my dad is. Was he a Godly man? No. Did he believe? I'm not sure. I like the think somewhere, deep inside, under the anger and hurt that he did. I pray during those last few minutes he was here on this earth that Jesus reached out to him and whispered in his ear. "I am with you my child". I pray everyday that my dad is rejoicing in heaven, dancing in the streets of gold, praising the ONE TRUE GOD.

So this is my current place. A little sad, a little angry, a little doubt. I have seen so much happen this summer that brings tears to my eyes, but we've also laughed a lot too. I'm learning to find joy in the little things and to be thankful for all the I have. My mom is starting to heal. My family is awesome. I am loved. Those things are worthy of a smile, don't you think?