You Know You Are a Mother of An Older Child When...

Although my mother lives with us, she still owns the condo her and my dad had in Murrell's Inlet, SC. After no luck trying to sell the place, a friend of the family asked to rent it from her. So, off we went to get everything cleared out. Being as it is quite a drive, I had a lot of time to ponder. On the way home we stopped at a rest stop and I passed a mom with her two little girls wearing plastic dress up heals. I had a flash back to the days when BB had to be Buzz Light year or a Power Ranger, and DQ had to be Barbie Rapunzel or a Power Ranger (there are girl power rangers too you know) EVERYWHERE we went. So I got to thinking, you know you are the mother of older kids when:

1. You are looking for a specific pair of shoes, a scarf, a purse, what have you in your closet and they are not there. So, you venture into your DQ's toxic waste dump room and unearth a pile of clothes, shoes, books, stuffed animals and there are your shoes, scarf, purse, what have you.

2. You get excited when BB outgrows his Adidas pants because they are going to be a perfect fit for me!

3. You get the orthodontist and American Eagle bills in the mail and wish you could go back to the days when you thought you going to save so much money when the kids were finally completely potty trained.

4. When you are lecturing the kids on appropriate tv shows, you start to get a little nostalgic for Barney and Veggie Tails.

5. You find yourself asking BB for advice on how to work your Iphone.

6. When you get home from work and BB has set up your Iphone completely and tells you he put all your books and music on Icloud for you to make it easier to transfer everything over. Because you have no idea what Icloud is you run for Google, then make a reason to upstage BB by all your Icloud knowledge!

7. DQ is sitting next to you reading as you type and is correcting all your errors and questioning everything you type!

8. You feel honored when your 13 yr old son still blows you kisses when he's in another car and sees you across the parking lot.

9. When you are fussing at your kids for one reason or another and they are looking down at you as you point your finger at them!

10. When you start worrying if their grades are going to be good enough for college instead of whether or not they can read and spell! Also on that note, parent teacher conferences are only done when your child is not cutting it at school.

So, if you are the mother of little ones, cherish those moments. Enjoy the sticky kisses and hand prints on the glass, because one day soon they will not want to hold your hand in public, and they wouldn't be caught dead running into your outstretched arms for a kiss and hug when you come visit them at school!!

Amy

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to < target="_blank" href="http://www.mycharmingkids.net">her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It's been a long time since I've done a Not Me Monday. I am not going to tell you a year's worth, but here are a few highlights of my own personal shame!

I have not been taunting my poor 12 year old daughter by saying the word sex randomly! She covers her ears and screams "STOP IT! That is soooo gross!" I would never embarrass DQ, NEVER!

Hubby and I have by no means threatened to take the kids' Christmas presents back in order to get them to do exactly what we want them to do. We would never blackmail our children!

I am not jealous of our huge lab/dane mix. She does not have hubby turned to mush, and she does not get in between us on our bed and love on him while I receive all four of her stinky feet!

I did not call home everyday anxiously awaiting the arrival of my IPhone! I was not more excited about the purple otter box than the actual phone, and I do not have my 13 yr old teaching me how to use it. I also don't own an IPad by the way!! I am not a spoiled princess!

Sentament and Music

My taste in music is not exactly "beast" as DQ puts it. In fact, nobody in the family likes most of my music!

I don't have a particular style I prefer, but it usually involves the 80's and 90's. Who remembers Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul? What about Nelson, and Color Me Bad? I love AC/DC and Def Leopard. I love Amy Grant and Micheal W. Smith. I love Garth Brooks and Toby Keith. I love Disney movie soundtracks.
Now most of these songs are not particularly brilliant, but for me they have memories attached. Moments of my life where I was happy, or sad, or lonely, or confused. These artists and songs were my friends that didn't talk back or judge.
For a girl these songs made my crush on whatever boy I was chasing bigger. They made my heartbreak when said boy and I were no longer crushing more dramatic. They made my party days more fun. They made my wedding day more special.

In high school I dated the same boy for most of it. We dated through part of college, and even some after I moved down south. Now, there were boys in between the drama that I dated or crushed on, but it was always about this one boy in the end; until I met hubby. Ahhh, finally I had met HIM, THE ONE! He was so cute, and so sweet, and so willing to be all mine! Of course we both had so much growing to do, but we didn't care, all that mattered were the fireworks!

Of course we picked a song. John Micheal Montgomery: I Love The Way You Love Me. Sniff: getting a little weepy here!!! He has his favorite for me that makes me grin from ear to ear!!! Brad Paisley's She's Everything, which I must admit is just about perfect.

Do you have any songs that make you melt, cry, laugh, reminisce?

Amy

Things Labor and Delivery Nurses WISH You Knew

Okay, so I've been thinking about this post for some time now trying to find a good way to present this to you. I am a nurse at the biggest labor and delivery unit in the nation. We have 42 labor beds, 5 OR's, our own recovery room, and 19 high risk beds. We also have a 7 bed triage unit for overflow. Now that is just in Labor and Delivery. We also have a whole unit dedicated to nothing but long term high risk patients. I am not even sure how many post partum beds we have but I know there are 6 floors in the women's center. We are one of two high risk certified hospitals in the nation. We have a top of the line NICU with I don't even know how many beds. You get the point. All this to say I have a few things to share with you. Some of this may be common knowledge, some may be slightly TMI, and some may be funny. So here goes. My top 10 things are:

1.Regardless of what you have heard we do not hate birth plans. They are a great thing. The downfall to them is this: a lot of times they are unrealistic. If you choose to have a birth plan share it with your doctor or Midwife before you come in to the hospital. They can help you decide what is reasonable and also discuss other options for you to consider.

2.If it is going to hurt your baby I am not going to do it! I do not want to hurt your baby, I promise. I understand you are looking out for the well being of your child, but so am I.

3.Usually it takes a long time to have a baby. I do not know how long it will take. It can take a few minutes to a couple of days. Ask for updates if you must, but I do not have a crystal ball, and I do not know what time this kid is coming :). Plan on 8 to 10 hours give or take a few in either direction. With labor and delivery anything goes and usually does!

4.Please consider your medical staff when it comes to hygiene. Enough said.

5.Dad, I don't care that you had sex last night. Unless I ask, I do not need to know. I do have a pretty good idea where babies come from.
Again dads: the hospital is not your home. I don't want to see you in your boxers! If you need to go #2, please use another restroom other than your wife's. Also, remember that even though the floors get mopped, this is a hospital and this is a particularly messy unit, so you may want to consider keeping your flip flops on when walking around. Also, I am your wife's nurse not your servant. Oh, and no you cannot have any Ambien, percocet, tylenol, motrin, etc.

6.Having a baby hurts. I don't care how many drugs you get or how good your epidural is you will experience some pain. I HAVE to put an IV in, I HAVE to check your cervix, sometimes you HAVE to lay on your side even though it's not your ideal position. I don't like hurting you, but your safety and well being as well as your baby's matter to me. They really truly do!

7.While your comfort is important, you really only need a small bag of things. A clean pair of jammies and panties, a clean set of clothes for you and baby, and a few toiletries. Some socks and slippers and maybe a robe and your own pillow. That's it. You do not need 3 suitcases, your stroller, your baby bag, your car seat, your bouncy seat, 5 books, 3 grocery bags full of snacks (you aren't allowed to eat on medication and epidural anyway), your perfume, hair dryer, straightener, hot rollers, your own toilet paper (yes I've seen a 4pack of Charmin), every antacid known to man (which you aren't allowed to take anyway), and whatever else you can live without for 48 hours. I promise it'll be okay!

8.If you must have your mother, MIL, FIL, your brother and his wife and 3 kids, your neighbor, you bible study group, your grandparents and their bible study group in your delivery, then you must know that I am going to have a hard time liking you. You many be the most pleasant, well behaved group of people in all the world but I need to take care of you and your baby and it's very hard to do my job with all those people in the way. Also, do you really want all those people seeing your hoo ha? I mean REALLY??????

9.If I come running in your room telling you I need your to roll over now, please don't sigh at me and ask me if you have to. Please don't all of a sudden lose your ability to move because you are pregnant. Don't worry about your bottom falling out because I've already seen it, and I'm pretty sure your baby daddy has too! I am asking for a reason and you need to trust me.

10.Finally, I am a nurse. I know that I am not a doctor. I know that I did not go to medical school. However, what you need to understand is that I do this 12 hours a day at least 3 days a week. I am with you all day and know you better than your doctor does. I labor women all the time, doctor's don't. I am your direct line to them and they know you are here I promise. I am usually on your side and it is my job to advocate to your doctor on your behalf, even if I don't agree with you. It is not my job to judge you, but it is my job to educate you; so please don't get offended when I sometimes question your thought process so that I can understand what you are asking. I am not trying to avoid calling your doctor, I just need to know because they are going to ask before the come. They will come but it may not be till you are ready to deliver. It may not be right before breakfast, and it may not even be at all that day, but they will come. I promise!

Finally, a note to an elite group of parents: To those who have lost your precious baby, I am so sorry. I really am. If I seem insensitive I'm not trying to be. Remember that I am human and my heart hurts too. I may even know what you are going through, but I may choose not to share that with you because this is about you, not me. If I cry with you I hope that is okay with you. I am praying for you and I usually go home and cry on my husband's shoulder. I will do all that I can to comfort you and meet your needs, but nothing I can say or do will make it better, but I will try anyway! Labor and Delivery is usually a happy place but when it's bad it's really bad. You are always in our hearts.

Amy

Where Have I Been???

I guess it's been awhile huh? Let me tell you I have missed blogging so much but just couldn't find the time, energy, or desire to come back. Today I felt a tug so here I am.

If you have followed me at all in the last year or so you would know that I have had some trying times. I have chosen not to blog about it all because I had such anger and sadness. We lost my father and my mother in law. We had emergency hernia surgery, and gall bladder surgery. I hurt my hand very bad at work. There has been a lot of anger and hurt in the family. There is more to my trial but I am not going to go into that. All I can say is that this trial has been life changing.

At first I didn't understand, and to some extent I still don't. I have had so much sadness and heart break that I can't even put words to it. I never knew losing my father and having to pick up the pieces of that loss for me and my mother and the rest of my family would be so hard. Now I am working on picking up the pieces of losing my mother in law.

People that know me personally have asked "when are ya'll going to get a break?" Believe me it's a question I've asked God many times! I have been so angry at God. I have been so angry at people. But you know what? God has a plan. I have learned so much going through this trial. It's still not easy, and some days are harder than others, but blessings are abounding!

My mother has moved in with us. God blessed us with a home that could be expanded for her. God blessed us with the funds to be able to do just that. Having her here has been so great for our family. She is here for the kids when hubby and I are at work. She is here when someone gets sick. She's just here and it's nice.

I never realized what an amazing man I married until all of this happened. He has been a rock, even through losing his own mother he has stood firm. He has reached out to my mother in a way most men would never do for the MIL. He has held me many times as I wept, and yelled, and screamed. He has been a blessing I can never get over. I love you so much Hubby!!!!

BB and DQ have changed so much! BB is now almost 5'7 and in his last year of middle school! He is becoming such a charmer!!! DQ is in 7th grade and stunning! She is almost as tall as me ( not hard to do I assure you!), and her hair is still so blond! They are both amazing children that I am so blessed and honored to raise!

We have started attending a home church. God has brought us down a path I never dreamed of. We have such a different perspective on what He wants us to be as believers. We are to be holy always. There is no such thing as "fire insurance". It says in the bible that where there is sin, He CANNOT be! It's been eye opening!

Hope you are able to catch your breath after this whirlwind of emotions. I cannot promise you there won't be more emotional posts to come so stick around for the walk of life I travel!!

Amy

Learning to "Chill"

As my children are getting older, and I'm not getting any younger I have found that I just get a little crankier. I fuss all the time about people not picking up their shoes and socks. I yell when someone makes some toast and they leave crumbs and cinnamon all over the counter top. I get frustrated when my children fall asleep on the couch with the tv on.

Then the other morning I got up for work (on a Saturday) and there were 3 children(mine plus a friend) sleeping on the couch. There were socks and shoes and sweatshirts everywhere, there were coke cans and half eaten cookies sitting up on the pass through (not on my carpet :) ), and the dogs were left out all night. The tv was blaring, the Christmas lights were still on as well as the hall light. But you know what? They were all covered in blankets, and furry friends were surrounding them. They were peaceful and dreaming. They were happy and isn't that what really matters?

As I type this BB is again asleep on the couch. His hoody is on my chair, there is half opened mail on the table, the recliners are both kicked out, there are xbox controllers scattered about, and of course furry friends are wandering around, but I'm ok! Now, ask me again when everyone is awake and it's time to clean the place up!!

Worth Repeating

My mother was in a workshop the other day and they were asked to imagine a safe place. Well, she came up with a place but figured out all sorts of reasons why it wouldn't be safe; wild animals could get in etc. So then after thinking about more of the workshop she remembered they talked about putting things in bubbles. She told me tonight
" so in thinking about all the dangers in my safe place I decided to just put it in a bubble and now it's safe!"

Too funny mom!! I love you Cupcakes!!!!

Amy